Dear Job Seeker

Life has been hard, right? But this too shall pass, I believe so :)

Gila ihhh, udah hampir setengah tahun dan hidupku kayaknya di sini sini aja. So much for being labeled as a genius your whole life, eh? Setelah ranking sana sini dari SD sampai SMP, kemudian masuk kelas akselerasi pas SMA, kemudian dengan mudahnya masuk PTN negeri (I should be grateful for this, really, I know). And here I am, masih belum dapat kerja.

Tapi aku gak menyesal samasekali sama hidupku 22 tahun ke belakang. Tentu masih banyak yang bisa diperbaiki, tapi aku akan menyimpan itu buat jadi nasihat untuk adek adekku ;) Sekarang juga masih banyaaaak lagi yang bisa diperbaiki sebenarnya. My main concern especially is to know what I really want to PURSUE in my life. Buat aku, kalau ada satu hal yang bisa disalahin dari aku yang belum kerja juga adalah ini. Aku orangnya masih punya banyak keraguan sama kemampuan dan tujuan diri sendiri. Dan itu terefleksi saat lagi bikin lamaran atau interview. Sedih :(

Jadi beberapa minggu ini aku fokus untuk bikin blue print sama kehidupan karirku. Mohon doakan yang terbaik ya, buat siapapun yang baca ini :P

Jadi, mari berusaha (dan berdoa) lebih keras lagi!!!

Anyway, dear job seeker, terutama buat yang suka dengerin musik, aku punya dua rekomendasi lagu nih yang pas banget sama keadaan kita.

1. It's Okay - BtoB

Aku pertama dengar lagu ini pas Mamamoo nge-cover di salah satu music show. Eh pertama dengar langsung suka sama musiknya. Jarang jarang loh aku begini. Dan entah kenapa iseng pengen liat yang versi aslinya, sekalian lah cari di Youtube KBS karna di sana pasti ada english subbed kan. 

Waktu awal lagu, aku masih biasa aja. Paling cuma mikir kalau lagunya unik nih, bukan soal cinta cintaan. Tapi begitu part rap mulai... langsung kayak beku. Issss kok sedih T_T

Trus selesai satu lagu langsung nangis aja dong haha. Kekuatan lagu ini selain di musiknya yang simple dan soothing ya liriknya itu tadi. Aku bagikan beberapa kalimat favoritku ya.

Nobody wanted me for three years

I thought I should join the army.

I told my parents, they said one thing, gee.

So I couldn't tell them I got fired from my part time job.

Well, my friend came on his last leave.

He said he was scared. He forgot everything he learned in college.

A million people are unemployed. I don't know about that.

I wish that number was the amount I have in my bank account.

Lagu ini ditulis dari perspektif cowok Korea ya, hence the military reference. Seharusnya sih bersifat sangat subjektif dan aku gak bisa relate, tapi kemudian lirik yang ditebalin itu ada. Ihhhh I know that feeling very well!

I know I'm being foolish.

I pretend I'm alright in front of others.

I used to be so bright.

Where did that person go?

This feels so real it hurts :(

The song is almost over.

But there is so much I haven't said yet.

I'm sure everyone feels the same way.

This applies to life as well, isn't it? Sedih banget lagunya. Nampar banget :(

2. Officially Missing You - Team A

Pertama dengar lagu ini waktu awal awal kenal Winner pasca Weekly Idol. Akhir tahun 2015. Nontonnya yang cuma performance doang dan tanpa english subbed di Youtube. Trus reaksi pertama aku adalah... ya lumayan bagus lagunya. The vocal and the harmonization is on point. Tapi aku sedikit kecewa karna aku kira mereka cuma cover biasa, yang mana harusnya liriknya tetap english. Ternyata liriknya diganti jadi Korea semua.

Kemudian aku dengar lagi setelah serius nonton WIN. Dan... impresi aku berubah lagi. Setelah mengenal karakterisasi masing masing member (aku nonton Winner TV dulu baru nonton WIN haha) dan background-nya, aku ngerasa liriknya jadi manissss banget. It's a fckin story about them. Dari cerita Seungyoon dan gitarnya, Mino dan lirik hep hap-nya, Taehyun yang cuma pengen nyanyi sampai Seunghoon yang berani speak up soal survival show ini (cuma Jinwoo yang gak kebagian, karna dia nyanyi bagian chorus yg topiknya general). Gak ada satu line pun dari bagian individual mereka yang gak menggambarkan mereka. I feel the insecurity, the sincerity and the love for their music all at the same time.

And to think that the original song is supposed to be missing "ex boyfriend", but they changed it to be missing "their old selves", is just... pure brilliant idea.

Butuh waktu beberapa minggu kemudian untuk akhirnya aku bisa dapat impresi lebih dalam lagi soal lagu ini. Asli, kayak bawang, berlapis lapis bikin perihnya haha.

Setelah dengarin berkali kali dan pas banget waktu itu lagi sedih karna ditolak (lagi) sama satu perusahaan, tiba tiba aja kepikiran begini, "Eh wait.. ini kok lagunya kayak ngomongin aku." "Eh ini mah bukan hanya tentang mereka aja, ini cerita tentang hampir semua orang di dunia, me included."

Gonna put the full lyric here, can't help it. Walau ngana ngana yang gak kenal Winner mungkin gak peduli juga ya sama cerita mereka haha. Jadi aku highlight aja ya bagian yang menurutku pas buat job seeker biar gak sedih sedih amat sama kehidupan. Adulthood is hard but it's real, deal with it :)

Yeah.. this is our story

Alright, once upon a time

That time that slowed down

The kid back then, I'm officially

With a small foot

Taking a powerful step

With a smile on his face

As if nothing was to be feared

Carrying a guitar on his back and with a tilted hat on sideways

That kid, I'm officially missing you

The sky is pastel-toned

With all my neighborhood friends

Wiping his nose instead of stealing ladies' hearts

Staying up all night to catch the tagger

Gathering all of us in my room

Radio, play on

These lyrics that I wrote for the first time, rec on

And from that on, my uniform was only a student cosplay

The t-shirt he changed into after school is 3XL

Limping intentionally, that hip hop kid

The puzzle of the dream of a rapper

Putting the puzzle together, scream peace

The world in front of me, bend its knees

Now it's a shout (Back then, it was cry)

Now it's a planet (Back then, it was a star)

Now it's a job.

At that time, when he was little, he expressed as he felt.

Ohhh, back then it was so great (Back in the days)

Back then, I had no idea (I didn't know)

I tell myself who became a memory

Oh I... I'm officially..

A mole on his thumb

The droopy eyes that drop down whenever he smiles

Blindly knocking on the door of dreams

A kid, who sings, I'm officially missing you

This battle, sometimes, it is meaningless

It's different from a life that I wanted

Should we break the dreams in two and go together

For years, everyone's the same

We have been walking on the desert and we are thirsty

Brother, today, it came again without exception

I bet you prepared a spear and a shield

We have stopped

We've become a clock that lost its gear, that can't turn back

Someone please fast forward this tape, I'll be there

With a deep sigh, it's not like I'm going back

Back back, no more show, boy, there is no more

I feel shameful in front of a mirror, so I take out the faded photo of myself

At that time it was so great (Back in the days)

Back then, I had no idea

I tell myself who became a memory

Oh I, I'm officially missing you

I'm officially missing you...

One more time, baby

I didn't know at that time

When I was little, everything was easy and it seemed like everything was mine

But why is it only now that I miss you?

I'm officially...

I'm officially missing you.